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Friday

Hey NOOBS! This friday I am doing one of my favorite shows:

LIVE FROM OUTER SPACE COMEDY SHOW!!!! 

9pm @ Cobra Club in Bushwick. 6 Wyckoff Ave, Brookyln

 

 

 

 

 

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The Ballad of Jenny and Tinder

It is so easy to get laid now a days thanks to Tinder. Gone are the nights of trolling the bar and hoping someone would buy me a drink (this still has yet to happen), begging that a fella looks my way and thinks to himself “that bitch knows how to do a sweeeeet cat eye” and then whisks me away to a basement apartment to have regrettable sex.

No more! Now all I need is an app on my phone and a few hours to have regrettable sex! No drinking needed, no need to put on a nice dress, just a bit of eye liner and a complete disregard for my body’s natural hormonal trigger to attach itself to whoever enters my cave of wonders. It’s so easy now!

But this yields questions.

Yet in this world of fast moving technology, vast interconnectivity between minds and machines, and a shit load of matches on Tinder…why is it so hard to connect with people? We go out, we have a nice chat and yet I feel nothing. I look through matches on dating sites with long, detailed summaries of the person’s study abroad trip to Sibera and I am bored to tears. I can’t take a compliment. I can’t look you in the eye. I just want to look at my phone.

And as a woman who is liberated and expressing her desire for sexual closeness just as a man would do…why do I feel so shitty? Shouldn’t I feel great that I got my rocks off AND was able to continue watching the newest episode of Girls while eating a pound of fruit? This future that seemed so promising is turning out to be doubtful at best. The only difference between the way we meet people today and that of 20 years ago is there is no alcoholic hangover, just an emotional one.

I am supposed to feel ALIVE! I’m supposed to feel like I am a free human being and able to share my love and lust and compassion and all those dumb feelings!

But I just want to look at my phone.

So I deleted my Tinder. I deleted my Accounts. I am putting my vagina on a shelf. I am going to watch Girls and eat fruit and hang out with my dog.

 

I just want to hang out with my dog and watch Girls forever.

 

 

 

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Look out Somerville

Mama’s comin’ home.

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Road dog

Guys, I’m on the road and it is soooo hard. I mean look at all the dumb stuff I did.
Smithsonian
National mall
Alexandria, VA
Mount Vernon
Fredericksburg antique shopping.

Ugh.such a bore. However, I will have probably spent all the money I earned on this trip by taking the tiny trips along the way. But its worth it. I love history!
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And there is still time to see me peform tonight at Liberty Lanes! 8pm show, Fredericksburg VA

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